Hair of the Dog

Fabio, Fabio, wherefore art thou Fabio?

Welcome back, fellow schleppers.  It's Friday and so in the spirit of goodwill towards men, I thought I'd share a bit about myself and the book I'm attempting to get published in the hopes that it will make you feel better about yourself and the prospects for your book.

The beginning: I was an awkward kid with braces and a headgear in middle school, and instead of attending soccer camp or swim team practice like the other kids, I spent the entire summer between sixth and seventh grade reading (I gained about ten pounds in the process).  I think I read Gone with the Wind at least twice that summer, along with several other romances of the YA and historical variety.  To this day I swear I developed my love of reading and writing in those three months; my brain must have been on overdrive, because when I started seventh grade, I began to write a book about the guy on whom I had an enormous crush.  It ended up as an Antebellum South epic not unlike Gone with the Wind, in which I played Scarlett and he played Rhett (I was such a weirdo back then).  And so my first book was born at the tender age of thirteen.

From that year onward, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up: a romance novelist.  I graduated from college in 2007 with degrees in English and Spanish, but to my everlasting regret, I allowed myself to get caught up in the corporate/pre-med/pre-law ethos that pervaded campus and only took ONE (yes, one) creative writing course.  Although my creative writing teacher recognized and nurtured my passion, I ditched my dream of writing for a career in finance.  After working nearly four years as a bond saleswoman - during which I barely had time to sleep, much less write - I decided I'd had enough of trying to live a life that didn't make me happy and I quit, largely due to the sage counseling and never-ending support of the man who is now my fiancee (love ya B!).

And so I set out to write a Regency romance novel.  During the time I worked at the bank, I had managed to write about 30,000 words of a story, mostly snippets conjured while drunk and bored on Friday nights.  I began writing full-time and in earnest in June, and had a finished manuscript of about 80,000 words by the end of September.  Because I had written the book over a period of about four years, it needed some serious polishing; I finished my fourth and final draft just in time to enter it into the Regency Historical category of the 2011 Golden Heart contest.

After the thrill of entering my first manuscript into my first Golden Heart contest, I set about finding an agent.  Though I know it's nearly impossible to get an agent being an unpublished first-time author, I figured I'd give it a go - wouldn't the brilliance of my writing shine through my lack of publishing credentials?

Apparently not.  I fired off my query letter to 25 agents and 2 publishing houses in November.  It is now January 7, and I have received 2 partial requests (both later rejections), 1 full request, and 8 flat out REJECTS.  As the rejections mounted, I figured it wouldn't hurt to enter a few more contests - the Great Expectations Contest and The Write Stuff (both RWA chapter contests).

While I wait for more rejections and the results of said contests, I figured it best not to dwell on the depressing prospects of Curse and so I began my next book, a YA historical/fantasy novel (hard to believe, but YA still seems to be the publishing world's hot spot).   Nothing like a little hair of the dog to get you through the day, no?

And while starting my next book is slow going and often frustrating, I have to say I DO feel much better about fulfilling my dream while writing.  Even if Curse doesn't end up getting published, who's to say my YA won't?  With every word, sentence, page, and book you write, your chances of literary fame and fortune increase; and I figure that if you write enough, eventually your chances start to look pretty damn good.  So, my fellow lost souls, follows today's lesson: perhaps finding Fabio (on the cover of your torrid historical) isn't so much about timing, luck, or who you know, but about perseverance, effort, and a hell of a lot of hair of the dog!

Doomsday

Dear Fabio-seeking fans,

The Monday after New Year's is always such a bummer - back to the grind, not a holiday nor a reprieve from the cold in sight - and though we always hope that this new year will be different, it never fails to feel like a nice, hard slap in the face.  If my dream agent's rejection this morning is any indication, 2011 is going to be one hell of a year for me.

I write as one of the many thousands of hopeful romance junkies trying to get their first romance novel published.  Whether you have written a daring contemporary, a sinister paranormal, a sweet inspirational, or a torrid historical, you have probably been nursing an abnormally voracious reading habit for some time and, after having read all the smut and trash that's out there, figured that hey, you can write a romance - one that is five times more daring or torrid than the contemporary or historical you just read.  And so your romance novel - your pride and joy, your baby, your blood, sweat, and tears, your reason for living - is born.

After the messy, complicated process of novel-birthing is through, you draft a query letter and humbly email it to 324 agents in the hope that they, too, will recognize that your romance is indeed five times more sinister than the last paranormal they read.  You wait, you hope, you pray, all the while fantasizing about the yacht you're going to buy with your seven-figure advance and what color kilt Fabio is going to be wearing on the cover of your bestseller.

And then comes the first rejection.  Something along the lines of: "Dear Miss Peterson: I just didn't fall in love with the writing here."  You are crushed and yet are surprised by the prick of tears as you read the REJECT email over and over.  Wait a second, you think - I am a twenty-something (or thirty- or forty or hell, even eighty-something) man/woman with a well established career in (said profession).  How can one agent's rejection make me sob like a five year old who fell off the monkey bars?

So you keep the faith.  That is, until 323 more REJECTS arrive in your inbox.  Some hurt more than others, and although you console yourself with wise words from Stephen King and Stephanie Meyer (yes, even she was rejected by several agents!), you start to think - well, what was I thinking?  Perhaps my inspirational romance really isn't so sweet.  Maybe I'm not such a great writer after all.  I should probably just schlep back to the 9 to 5 job I so desperately hate because I am never, ever going to see my name in literary lights.

Well, fellow Fabio-lovers, I am right there in that sinking boat with you.  And that's why I decided to write this blog - keeping the faith on your own is an arduous, but not totally impossible, task, and I figure a little commiseration might help.  As the wise Nora Roberts once said, "If you don't ask, the answer is always no.  If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."  I write in the small tiny hope that we all keep asking, querying, writing, even if the answer is inevitably no.

It only takes one yes from one agent to jump start your career as a romance novelist.  One yes to make all your Fabio dreams come true.  But the answer, of course, begs the question.  So ask away!